What we take away when we tidy

On a mizzling Sunday, when the mist was heavy over the Bay, and the light levels were low, I emptied my bedroom chest of drawers and spent 2 hours folding things into neat squares. G found me asleep by the unsorted pile, the effort of being sparked by joy having completely overcome me. I had had an attack of Marie Kondoitis.

Marie is a Japanese businesswoman whose philosophy and practices have taken her into homes all over the world. Her book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up has a seductive message. Surround yourself with things you cherish. Let go, with gratitude, things that no longer serve you. Establish a place for things and keep them there. Clutter obscures what’s most important. Discarding that which doesn’t support your ideal lifestyle creates space for treasured possessions to truly shine – and leaves room for future joy-sparking additions.

Marie’s home is blissfully clutter free, with tonally coordinated spaces, hardwood floors and windows and touches of greenery and ikebana. The furniture doesn’t encourage you to sit on it, which is why everyone is probably sitting on the floor. (I am being tongue in cheek here). She has special places for everything, even Christmas stuff. No stuffing things in the loft for her. Everyone is wearing white and there are awesomely clean fluffy, pale rugs on the floor. Her family must be able to hover. The kids look delighted to have tidy up games to play.

There are people out there who love getting out the polish and dusters. They revel in sparkling windows and banishing dust from all surfaces. Personally, I like clean but I absolutely detest cleaning and I live with people who are congenitally messy and don’t do any cleaning at all.

I showed G my beautiful underwear arrangement and he said here’s a cup of tea and what’s for dinner. I drank my tea and reviewed the Konmari advice on creating a Power Spot:

Marie recommends turning the inside of your closet into a spot that gives you a thrill of pleasure. Decorate the wall behind your clothes or the inside of the door with images and objects that inspire and delight you. Your closet is a private paradise – personalize it to the fullest!

The trouble was, the arrangement was joy but the underwear was vieux Marks and Spencer. I hate clothes shopping and my closet is currently a number of shelves with my handknits and random items from my frequent forays to the local charity shops. I have always been a great admirer of tidy and have been known to exclaim with delight at a set of snowy napkins in a beautiful wooden drawer. It’s so hard to keep up with it though.

For years, I enjoyed organising my collection of craft items. I had a very busy job as a French estate agent and it took up all my mental bandwidth. Actually getting to grips with my craft stuff was too much. So, I bought and bought and, on quiet Sundays, I would happily have a session of organising, categorising, and arranging my new purchases. It was very enjoyable but I never actually made anything. I would finish, and it was always with a sense of regret that I realised yet another afternoon had passed, and no creativity had happened.

Along the lane from our house was a renovated stone barn. It belonged to our glamorous neighbour, who only came over during the summer holidays. She had my idea of a lovely lifestyle; a beautiful home in London, worked when she obtained interesting commissions, travelled often and had a husband who spent most of his time in Spain. She ate out in lovely restaurants and went to exhibitions. She actually became younger over the 16 years we lived there. Her husband had bought farmhouse many years before and she had stripped and painted the interior, making a beautiful serene space. There, with her academic children, she spent her 6 weeks’ summer holidays cooking, drinking wine and making things.

One day, a container arrived from England. My dog had gone round to play with her kids and it was supper time, so I went to retrieve him.

Elsu (not her real name) was sitting on a rug, and surrounding her were little-read books, paint-free paintbrushes, bundles of beautiful fabric, chinking bags of beads, boxes of mosaic tiles. Her mother had passed away, and everything had been disposed of in the UK, except for the craft boxes, which had held treasures. Elsu held up a piece of silk to the window and a beam of sunlight glowed through it. She sighed ‘Ah, mamma. Always, buying. Never making.’ Oh, I thought; mea culpa. Mea Maxima culpa. I still didn’t make stuff though.

In 2020 we moved back to the UK, and I got a room of my own. I moved all my craft stuff into it, and had lovely afternoons arranging it. Then our eldest came home for a while. He moved out. Our youngest came for two years. I still longed for my craft room, where I could make things. Eventually he moved out and I cleaned the room, looked at my stuff and had an epiphany. No more gratuitous tidying. I would learn to work in a given period of time, on a given project, and ignore the mess. The urge to tidy up is still strong but I am learning to push it to one side.

This is what I came up with: (put these days IN your diary)

Gathering Day

1. Decide what I want to do and make a list of what I need.

2. Look what I have and order what I don’t. Give myself a maximum time I will browse before ordering.

3. Look at potential times/days I can set aside.

Organisation Day

1. Get everything together I will need in one place.

2. Clear a space where the activity will happen

3. See if anything needs prepping e.g. sewing machine thread, oiling, test stitch length

4. Decide which day I will do it. This day can be moved but it can’t be cancelled.

Action Day

1. Leave my phone in another room.

2. Get everything I need in terms of food and drink

3. Inform G I am making things for the next (x) hours.

4. Action!

5. Plan further action days to finish what I’ve started.

Work through the above and you will have made something. What is more, you will have learned that what we take away when we tidy, non stop, as I did, is joy. The joy of making. The joy of creating. The joy of putting you into something.

That is worth more than sectional drawer dividers, neat piles of stuff and books arranged by subject/colour/height.

Spark that joy. You won’t regret it.

Let me see what you make!

If you have enjoyed reading my newsletter, please share it to people you think will also enjoy it. More to follow, next Sunday. Have a lovely week.

Lily

Links:

https://konmari.com/

My knitting patterns on Ravelry and Payhip